Archive for April, 2009

Slut on a rope

Posted in FemDom, Sex and horniness with tags , on April 27, 2009 by Maitresse

We had a lovely relaxing weekend. Well, relaxing for me. It was cold, windy and raining so we stayed in by the fire and had a lovely time.

My slut enjoyed being my crash test dummy for decorative rope bondage. That’s basically rope in diamond patterns all over the body. I tied him up nice and tight, particularly right up his crotch, and he spent all night cooking, serving and waiting on me in his little harness.

It gave me complete access to him if I wanted to pinch or spank during the evening and I could reach out any time I liked and pull on the rope… which he would feel tightening all over him. The sensation of being bound while he’s serving around the house really enforces the sensation of my ownership and dominance of him. My pretty little slut. Well, my pretty hung like a horse slut.

Because he’d been so good and cooked so well for me, I rewarded him by allowing him to cum. The rope really gets him going, so he was fucking me even more enthusiasticall than normal. I ordered him to cum on my belly, so I can grab a fist full of his hair and force his face down on me to lick it all up. Well, force is hardly the word. More like guiding my dirty little slut. He loves it. He spurted all over the place and even had it on his face.

Later in the night he went down on me for a while, as I lay back on the couch enjoying myself. He might have been a bit cheeky at times, for which his arse was cropped a couple of times, but he was such fun to play with. I really enjoy owning my slut.

Advertisements

Shameless plug

Posted in Uncategorized on April 25, 2009 by Maitresse

black-leather-flogger-120409-600Someone I know has an auction going on Sexybay, like ebay but adult content obviously… It’s a black leather flogger, hand made in Australia. Have a look…

Mindfucking

Posted in books, FemDom with tags , , on April 24, 2009 by Maitresse

blue-vib-500
Well I’d anticipated making a post today about all sorts of wild adventures and explorations with masturbation… But alas I fell asleep last night without any such indulgence. As previously mentioned, I’ve been reading a little book called “Mindfucking” by Colin McGinn. Publisher is Acumen, in case you’re interested. It’s a fairly brief essay and I finished it last night before turning out the light, sniggering to myself in amusement.

It’s a really neat little book. Apparently McGinn decided to write about the mindfuck after reading a book “On Bullshit” by Harry Frankfurt who I think is a Harvard philosopher. I laughed out loud many times at the author’s clever prose and ambiguity. He takes the metaphor of sex and intellectual manipulation all the way.

McGinn differentiates between the mindfuck of religion, politics, abuse or advertising and the positive mindfuck of a movie or book where you don’t see the end coming… Or even an essay or idea that opens up your thinking about the world you live in.

Naturally as a Domme the first thing I thought of was the psychodrama in D/s. Mindfuck can be quite powerful in scenes involving bondage or blindfolding for example. I’ve seen some intense mindfucking involving knife play and CBT… It’s absolutely pants wetting to watch some submissive male tied to the table while a Woman teases him with the threat of castration or worse. The squirming, moaning and begging are exquisite. Her torture of him glorious. There’s also the more psychological aspect of Domination and submission. When She gets in your head and your only desire is to please Her. The connection of pleasure and pain by a Dominatrix is another form of fucking with your mind.

Down on my knees has written a bit here and there about the whole psychodrama of submission. Excuse me while I distract myself reading Fundamentalist Mormons of Gor from that blog… Which is more an example of what I’d alluded to earlier, the religious mindfuck.

If you’ve ever been involved in a conservative church you’ll probably recognise that christian marriage can be a pretty severe D/s mindfuck. The emotional and other abuses that many women suffer can be absolutely astonishing and disgusting. I recall the number of women I would overhear praying to be delivered from their resentment or resistance to submission, without realising that their anger and resistance is actually a healthy psychological reaction attempting to restore some sanity and appropriate personal boundaries to them. Of course many of them had come from family situations of emotional or psychological abuse and violence and were simply perpetuating those dysfunctional roles in their lives. Am I saying that conservative religion is fucked up? Absolutely!

On the way to dinner the other night this subject came up. Humans will find ways to deal with negative experiences. There are kinks who explore dominance and submission and understand their minds. There are people who would cringe at the thought of being so “sick” but happily cut bits off themselves or beat their partners. Or force their partners into submission in marriage. Yeah, I realise this is a side track to the original topic, but the idea kind of gets me.

If you’re dealing with questions about your self-worth or life situation, is it okay to do it in a consenting relationship with someone you can discuss the issues with? The thing is, you can’t assume that kinky people have had fucked up lives, just as you can’t assume that straight people are not fucked up. It’s all so organic and inter-related and confused… no wonder a friend of mine refers to psychology as voodoo LOL.

Most kink seems to be about exploring sensations, sexuality and the erotic. It can certainly be about power, but have you ever seen a power play scene that wasn’t enticingly erotic? It’s really only the leftovers of puritan influence in mainstream culture that depicts sexuality and exploration as “dirty” or “bad”. It’s an idea that came from 4th century monks in caves and probably should have ended with them. Stoics and Epicurians in Ancient Greece explored these very ideas, but then Aristotle’s idea of matter on earth being impure, in comparison to the perfect aether of the cosmos, was transferred into puritan religion and the whole thing went to hell. After they’d invented hell.*

But back to my original thought. There’s plenty of positive mindfucking to play with in a kinky relationship. Not only the humour of the situations in which you sometimes find yourself, the interaction of two humans and the power exchange, the dressing up and roleplaying. You construct a scene with someone, play it out, maybe push a few bondaries or buttons… and it’s very mutually enjoyable.

I guess it’s part of the complexity of the human animal that we seek to explore and play with different ideas and experiences. We feel confined and constricted with too many rules or laws and often only put up with them if we’re told there’s a payoff for it. Or we use it to compensate for lousy self-esteem and make ourselves feel better than sinners or criminals. And the media play on that to manipulate social stereotypes… but I’ve wandered off again… LOL

Well, it’s a Friday and I’ve had a lovely slow start to the day. I’m sitting here in my satin pyjamas reading about D/s and sex in various blogs and seriously thinking about doing some more masturbation practise… My slut is coming over this evening and I hope to be experimenting with some decorative rope bondage. If you’re good I’ll post photos πŸ˜€

*Hell probably comes from the Old Germanic Hel which wasn’t actually a bad place to be. If you didn’t die in battle and end up in Valhalla you could simply put your feet up in the afterlife and rest without any suggestion of sin or failure. It was run by a woman, btw. You can see why that had to be modified for christendom.

DIY

Posted in Sex and horniness with tags , on April 23, 2009 by Maitresse

Been reading again… wasted another day. Well almost. I’m also reading “Mindfuck” by Colin McGinn which is fantastic. There’s some great sex blogs around and one which caught my attention is about masturbation. Solo Lady Love – women and masturbation on the porn for women site, is pretty self explanatory. It’s a great read.

Let’s start with the clitoris, or clit. The pleasure center of a woman, the clit is the one body part that’s only function is to make you feel good. How awesome is that?! To get off, many women touch their clit (the glans of it – the whole clitoris is a structure that reaches into the body and down under the labia!) directly, using one or two fingers to rub, flick, go in little circles, or move back and forth on their button.

I was enjoying this since it’s been on my mind after reading Miss Calico’s thoughts about orgasm the other day. But it was the penultimate paragraph that caught my attention.

There are also women that can come from stroking and playing with their nipples only. Many women use breast and erogenous zone touches to enhance their arousal, but cannot come from it alone. There are also a select few women that can come from thoughts and breathing alone, without any physical stimulation at all. Neat, huh?

How cool would that be, to get off on mind power alone! It can be a bit of a journey to cum at all. It took me until I was about 30 before I could really get into it… and that was DIY. I was married at the time and in a church group, which all but killed my sexuality. *brrr* It’s hard to enjoy your body when you’re being screamed at by some fat old schizophrenic in a suit that you belong to another person and they can do what the hell they want to you. It’s not fun when it’s not consentual. But that’s another story.

It did take some time and experimentation, not to mention all the affirmations written on the bathroom mirror in lipstick! But I got the idea sunk into my subconscious that this is actually my body and I have control over it. (Suck on that you religious fucking pervert!) And this means I get to cum if I bloody well want to.

Ahem… Funny how thoughts wander around when you’re blogging LOL. Spending a few lazy afternoons in bed learning about your physical and emotional responses can do wonders for your security and pleasure.

Since it’s worked really well so far, I’m now thinking about the idea in that advice column. What if you could learn to get off more and more easily? Sports people and others routinely use psychological tricks to enhance their performance and make other constructive alterations to their lives. So do witches, but with more props. I’m picturing burning a pink candle with Perthro, Berkana and Wunjo carved into it, visualising myself having screaming, thrashing orgasms. Or I could simply practise more with my toys and my slut. It’s probably the most appropriate application of sex magic πŸ˜€ A big part of it is also the red candle stuff, I find. Strength, security, confidence… sinking in to the heart’s stream that this is my body, it’s a good thing and it’s right to enjoy it.

I didn’t make a New Years’ resolution this year. Generally they’re something along the lines of “I will meditate more and worry less”… but the more I think about it “I will learn to let myself have earth shattering orgasms” sounds like a fucking plan!

On being sociable, part one.

Posted in FemDom, the scene with tags , , , , on April 23, 2009 by Maitresse
rope and wax

rope and wax

Last night my slut and I went out for dinner with a few kinky friends. Most of us were women and most were Dominas or Pro-Dommes. I love spending time with Pro’s. They’re generally a great bunch of women, sexy, smart and really funny to chat to. There was a time when I considered working as a Pro Domme in a professional dungeon for the experience but also simply to hang out with such interesting people.

We discussed BDSM, obviously, as well as sex, business and even witch-craft came up at the end. I’m a witch and love being witchy, so it was a fun conversation for me. Needless to say it turned into a bit of a late night.

I’d been shopping around for a new fetish outfit to wear to the clubs and come across a neat little black PVC coat, it goes well with the skirt and shoes. PVC is nice and shiny, it certainly looks really Mistressy, but my real favourite is leather. There’s heaps of leather hides here for my other handcrafts and it’s always tempting me to get into a corset or skirt or something else nice and slinky, black leather next to my skin. One of the Mistresses at last night’s dinner is an experienced dressmaker and was offering some advice about sewing leather, which was very helpful. Hopefully I’ll be able to get that going in the near future. The thought of pulling on black leather for an evening or a scene is absolutely delicious. The smell alone is enough to frame the mindspace.

rope

rope

My slut will accompany me to the weekend’s outing, this time we’re considering a short skirt for him and a full body rope harness. Something that will make lovely diamond patterns all down his front and back, across the tops of his arms, leaving enough movment to be able to serve me drinks and rub feet… and tight up his crotch of course.

It’s a big change to be spending so much time out with friends, but quite a pleasant one. The more I get to know people in the scene around Melbourne the more ideas I pick up. It’s also wonderful to be able to talk about fetish and kinks to understanding friends. Air issues, share ideas and offer support. My experience with IRL fetish has been positive and the local scene is quite active.

Now to find some more pretty boysluts to serve at my Mistress’ party.

Getting it off

Posted in FemDom, Sex and horniness with tags , , , on April 22, 2009 by Maitresse

As may be obvious from the ever growing list of blog links over there, I’ve been looking around for other kinky stuff to read. There’s some fantastic writers around, and people having some fantastic sex! These days I’m not so much jealous as inspired… To the point where my slut and I are planning a bit of a Mistress’ night in the next month or so. Picture a half dozen Dommes sitting around with various girls and boys waiting on them hand and foot for the evening. What a splendid way to spend a night!

Miss Calico was discussing ‘did you come‘ recently and it got me thinking about the whole orgasm thing. Again. As it happens I was going to use this blog exclusively for lighthearted kinky shit and keep my politics on another blog where there’s more identifying info. However, reading some other sexy bloggers’ thoughts has prompted me to want to put a little more thought into some of this.

Since I’m one of *those* women who can cum merrily all night with a dildo but not so often with a real live male, the idea of pleasure during sex is not so straightforward. Reading some slave training sites you’d think that anorgasmia is purely a result of overstimulation. Which basically means you’re spoiled by too good a dildo. This may actually be the case for me. But it’s solely because I can hit the right spot hard enough often enough, rather than any deficiency on behalf of my slut. He can go all night and is very well endowed. So why don’t I cum constantly, repeatedly when fucking him? Mostly I think it’s because some of my orgasms are for me to enjoy.

It took me a long time to really own my own body. This is an idea I had to grow into as an adult, because I hadn’t really learnt it as a youngster. Long story. These days I tell myself fairly frequently that this flesh is all mine, I get to choose who can and can’t do what to or with me. I get to enjoy it. Touch it, flex it, share it occasionally. Mine.

So am I simply selfish with my orgasms? Possibly. Who cares? I’m the Mistress around here and I can do whatever the hell I want. Which is not to say that fucking my slut doesn’t get me off. There’s nothing quite so enjoyable as an hour or two spent in his arms with that long, slow stroking warming me up inside. Particularly when he’s been soundly beaten beforehand or bound and spanked. He’s my toy. My favourite sex toy.

And as Miss Calico opines, in agreement with Tantric principles I might add, orgasm isn’t all there is to it. Sometimes you do want a truly hammering, luscious squirt almost as a kind of indulgent self-expression, but sometimes it’s preferable to have the pleasure levels elevated more constantly.

Either way he has to lick it up afterwards.

the question of chastity

Posted in FemDom with tags , on April 20, 2009 by Maitresse

Surfing the BDSM blogs for new links, I notice that there are a few sites out there where men record their experiences of forced chastity. I love this idea, but don’t practise it. The thought of some man prevented from experiencing sexual pleasure is quite a turn on… but not for my man. Mainly because if he doesn’t get any I won’t be getting any. At least not from him.

And one thing my slut does very well is serve in bed. I enjoy him frequently and take advantage of his experience with tantric sex. He is of course usually very obedient when it comes to orgasm denial. This is appropriate since sex is about pleasing me.

Every few weeks or so I’ll allow him to cum. I command him to do so, in order to submit his pleasure and release to me. He cums in service to me. On Saturday after we’d been playing a little and he’d put on the cock strap to better serve me, he was a little too enthusiastic about pleasing me. After about forty minutes of long slow strokes interspersed with quick lusty pumping, he was behind me and announced that he needed to change positions lest he cum. But he said it too late πŸ™‚

I smiled to myself as I felt him groaning and leaning on me. After only a moment he spurted all over my back. I told him to lick it all up, which he did eagerly, cleaning his cum off my skin with his tongue. Later I spanked his balls for this.

He wasn’t punished too harshly for this unauthorised orgasm, mainly because I was feeling lenient. We’d been to a club on Friday night and he’d been very attentive giving me foot massages while we sat in the lounge watching the kinks show off all their fine fetish gear. Several people admired the attention I was getting. One Domme even asked if he would serve her. Hmmm. I laughed at the time. Here was my darling slut sitting at my feet wearing my collar, and She approached him!

Naturally my slut declined. This is my favourite toy, afterall, and I don’t share him.

On Sunday he got a good hard horsewhipping to mark his arse as mine. After warming him up nice and hot, and laying in with my lovely long dressage whip, he was ready for me to fuck him. He’s such an arse slut. I adore using my hand on him.

So it seems that in this relationship there isn’t a whole lot of chastity going on. No doubt it suits lots of couples, but I’m much more in favour of plenty of kinky sex with a submissive male whose arse is red and stinging to remind him that I own it. And the rest of him.